Queen of Non Sequiturs

also known as jzohny.com

"Maybe you were right. But, baby...I was lonely."

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Name: Josephine Zohny
Location: New York, New York, United States

Josephine Zohny is a publicist and a writer. She is the CEO of Zohny Public Relations and the Director of Entertainment Publicity for WeRoqq Publicity and Promotion. Currently residing in an obscure area of New York City with her dog, Cannoli, she aspires to one day become a recluse with crazy hair. Her likes include smart children, Michael Imperioli and sexy shoes. Her dislikes include inferior shawarma, use of the word "classy" and probably you.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Ricky Fanté & WeRoqq

Ricky Fanté Hires WeRoqq Publicity and Promotion as Agency of Record

New York, NY (PRWEB) January 26, 2006 -- Ricky Fanté is ready for the next step of his career and has hired WeRoqq Publicity and Promotion as his official agency of record. WeRoqq will aid Ricky as he continues his quest to revive soul music.

“Ricky is a true soul singer and we’re elated to have him on our roster,” says Shukmei Wong, Director of Music Publicity for WeRoqq. “The world will be glued to Ricky Fanté and his soulful voice.”

‘Rewind’, Ricky’s debut album from Virgin won praises from critics everywhere. His single “Shine” was featured in the movie and soundtrack to the motion picture ‘Robots’. Ricky made a guest appearance in the movie ‘Yours, Mine and Ours’ with Dennis Quaid and Rene Russo, along with other TV shows such as ‘Eve’. He is currently working on his sophomore album, teaming up once again with Jesse Harris, who co-wrote for Norah Jones. Ricky’s goal for this album is no different than his first one -- “I want to bring soul music back.”

WeRoqq Publicity and Promotion is a full-service public relations firm that specializes in music, fashion and general entertainment industries whose roster also includes Rozanda “Chilli” Thomas.

For more information or to request interviews, please contact:

Josie Zohny – Director of Entertainment Publicity
(917) 742-3777

Shukmei Wong – Director of Music Publicity
(718) 510-3046

Samantha Worrell – Director of Lifestyle/Fashion Publicity
(917) 549-6591

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Shukmei is the fabulous person who secured Ricky as a client and I'm very proud of her. We're definitely going to do Ricky justice - he has a great voice, we just need to work on finding his niche. And we will. WeRoqq always has a l'il sumpthin' sumpthin' up our sleeve.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Strange men have been appearing in my dreams lately

Terrence Howard.

Now, I don't have the hatred of Terrence that some (love the site, don't get me wrong) seem to have, but I don't need him showing up in my dreams. I don't find him attractive and I'm not attracted to him in my sleep, but he's always just there. Eating my food. Sitting on my couch. Watching my TV. Following me to work. This Terrence needs more work so that he can stop bothering me.

Brett Ratner.

The chubby director better known as Serena Williams' ex. In a series of dreams last night, he kept on trying to come into my room, then re-do it and woo me with the results. Eventually I just let him do it to get rid of him (am I the only one who gets exasperated in dreams?). I woke up feeling slimy. Brett never quite looks like he bathes in real life and my dream was no exception.

Brad Pitt.

He's welcome, actually. Wish he'd drop by more often...and bring the pre-pregnancy wifey, too.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

nothing and everything

I've been doing pretty well keeping up with one of my three New Year's resolutions - cooking. Just like me to never miss a meal, huh?

Last week I made spinach pies and turkey meatballs with tomatoes, zucchini and squash. This week I made Mediterranean stuffed eggplant and veal. I was a vegetarian from ages 9-16, but as you may have guessed, that's all out the window now. I have to say, everything I've made is pretty freakin' good. Maybe I'll invite everybody over for a dinner party.

One of my articles is for sale on Amazon.com. Don't ask me...I don't know. I don't get the money, either...I suppose ColorLines does. If you'd like to buy it to contribute to my sales rank, please do. How wild is it that I'm on Amazon?

In reference to my last post about haters, I'd like to direct you all here . Only in bizarro land (....or my apartment) is a woman with a flat stomach considered a sea cow.

I fear Salma may be replacing Bouncy as my girlfriend. I'd cheat on her with Scarlett and Janet circa Pleasure Principle, though.

The AP is making it seem like Janet's brother is wandering around the Middle East handing out his CV to everybody he sees, even if he's actually doing some lucrative development consulting. What's the point of allowing him to hold on to that one pesky little shred of dignity, right?

I'll shut up now and let you enjoy this video.

Monday, January 16, 2006

You're just a f-ing hater!

This is an epidemic amongst women that needs to stop right now. I love some of my friends, I really do, but it's a serious problem when someone looks at this....

....and the first thing that comes out of their mouth is "Lookit Beyonce with her wide forehead (or other equally asinine observation)." Does Beyonce even have a forehead? I've never noticed, because the rest of her is so hot, but I'm sure it's well proportioned.

It's also a little sad (and obvious) when you can't concede that anybody unlike yourself (ethnically, color-wise, size-wise, etc.) is attractive. What's the deal? Are you afraid that if you admit someone different from you is attractive, it will mean that you're unattractive?

Insecurity is not cute.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

I didn't lie to him, either.

So I was very nicely minding my business yesterday at the gym, when some guy comes up to me and says that I look like I need a massage. Because I'm well aware that is one of the skeeviest pick up lines in the world, I go back to my stretching and tell him that I'm doing just fine on my own. "But I'm not just any kind of masseur," he says "I specialize in tickle therapy." He looks so pleased with himself that I'm almost hesitant to say...

"Good for you, but I hate being tickled."

"How can you hate being tickled? It's instant euphoria"

"I stop breathing when people tickle me."

*concerned look on his face*

"You were never tickled as a child, were you?"

This is the point when I stand up, walk to the other side of the gym and sit down behind the boxing ring so The Tickler© can't see me.

I thought the nutjobs wouldn't be able to afford Crunch's $74/month membership. Tickling must pay well.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Odds and Ends

"Man of Peace" (is that so, Dubya?) Ariel Sharon is reportedly braindead. There's no need for me to go into what I think of him, but I do worry for the state of Israel-Palestine.
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From EURWeb: IS IT BECAUSE HE'S BLACK?: What They Don't Want You to Know About Michael Jackson Curiously similar to the piece I did back in February, but worth a read.
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Egypt denies that they are deporting Sudanese refugees. They're far too busy already incarcarating Ayman Nour.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Obligatory New Year's Resolution Post

1. Learn how to cook.















I used to be anti-domesticity, but recently that's changed. Perhaps I've grown tired of coming home after work and realizing that the only thing I can whip up is a block of tofu with hot sauce on it - which is delicious, I swear...seriously! - but somehow lacks the appeal of ...say, real food. Recipes are welcomed.

2. Dance.












Once upon a time, I was a very cute and very chubby child ballerina. This time around, I'm going to leave the tutu at home. Although I can't get past the ridiculousness of me doing ballet, I think I may give it a go - the stretching involved alone is a great workout. And I was born with natural turnout, damnit - dancers work for years to accomplish that! If not ballet, I think I'm going to investigate one of the World or Funk classes.

3. Let those I care about know that I care.















I'm lousy with this. I'm afraid that if I let people in too much, they'll have the power to hurt me, let me down, etc. I don't want to live my life afraid of getting hurt. I've done hurt, I know I can handle hurt...and I guess sometimes hurt is worth it, right? Might as well give it a try. If it doesn't work, my resolution for '07 will be to shut everybody out and finally become the recluse with crazy hair that I always dreamed of becoming.