You're stupid and nobody likes you.

Those who know me laugh when they hear that someday I'd like to enter politics. I'm dead serious. I see no reason why I couldn't be the mayor of New York City someday. President? Not so much. The bulk of middle America would vote for me just about as much as they did for Kim K on Dancing With The Stars, but mayor - I could be mayor.

I am motherf$ckin' New York. I'm the daughter of an immigrant, I'm known to guidette it up upon occasion. I've got Bay Ridge on lock. I graduated from NYU, because that's what all the cool kids do. I'm enrolled at an Ivy League for grad school. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm also broke, but when I make my fortune, I'll be sure to remember being broke so I can relate my stories of hot sauce and popcorn to my minions while on the campaign grind. I'm totally willing to court scandal. I'll leak a sex tape to TMZ with my (at present non-existent) husband, then act all defiant and indignant when on Larry King, as I smirk into the camera. And I'm much cuter than Bloomberg. Or Guliani. Or Dinkins.

I can play the game. But then there's the little problem of me hating people.

Not all people.

Some. A lot. About half, maybe?

Just as within every type, I have a type of which I'm fond, within every type, I have a type that I loathe.

As I watch the presidential debate and see the people asking questions of the candidates, I can't help but marvel at the way (both!) candidates are handling themselves. I could field the Tom Brokaw questions pretty well. I respect Tom Brokaw. We're homies, I allow him into my apartment occasionally when I'm attempting to make some Giada or Rachael Ray-sanctioned meals. But the second one of the common folk comes up to the mic to ask a question, I can see myself, twitching...sucking teeth.... involuntarily shouting:

"Shut up, you're not smart enough to know what's good for you so go back to your seat and don't question me."

"And your mother told me to tell you that you're adopted."

Kinda defeats the purpose of a town hall forum debate, no?

Insomnia sucks me back in

Where the hell did I go?

Without delving into too much detail, I can say that the past ten months have contained some of the most heart wrenching-stressful-amazing-contented-confusing-sad-enlightening moments of my life.

While one (familial) relationship seemed irreparably harmed at the beginning of 2008, another (romantic) relationship became something entirely different, wonderful, yet frightfully serious. The latter relationship is/was the first time I ever truly lost myself in somebody. It was nice - it's still nice - but it's hard for me to relinquish control over my emotions. As any of you who actually know me are aware, the only emotions that I'm totally comfortable displaying are anger and indignation. What a departure!

I made a bad decision to enter a professional situation that knocked the wind out of me, but it also opened new doors, so I don't totally regret it. Still, the fact that someone or something was able to shake my otherwise impregnable belief in my abilities is something I'm having a hard time letting go of...

Mortality has been weighing increasingly on my mind. This year alone my Uncle Tony, Tante Mervat and cousin Tarek passed away. The latter two died very prematurely. I turned 24 earlier this month (some pictures can be seen here, if you're interested) and for some reason that seems significantly older than 23. There's so much more I want to do in my life. Let's say I have kids at 30, but then drop dead inexplicably at 40 - how is it fair to leave those pre-teen children without a parent? I know that's not the way to look at things, but ever since Tarek died, I keep thinking about his two little girls who are without their father. Or my own mother and her sister, who were but 10 and 4 when their father passed away. People say to live for yourself, but I think the only decent thing to do is to live for those who are connected to you. That means taking care of yourself. Youth gives a false sense of invincibility, but vices come back to smack you in the face sooner than you think.

I'm all over the place, but it's 2am, so I think you'll forgive me. At least I'm writing again.

Until we meet again (hopefully soon),

J

We're cutting our losses for '07 and moving on.

Jesus, what a year. Ups and downs.

• got accepted @ Columbia for grad school, started classes
• the "animal rights organization who shall remain nameless" fiasco
• new clients: Souleo (who is killin' it right now...BET, Access Hollywood, Chicago Sun-Times, NPR...g'head!), Kameko, Bags By Chilli, etc.
• the boy. oh, the boy. all kinds of good and bad going on there.
• shake-ups at WeRoqq...really sad to see Sam leave the company, even sadder to see our friendship disintegrate.
• made a few new friends, though. real ones, too, not just "biz" friends.
• sleep? taking care of my health? i kind of forgot to do that this year.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go attempt to do yoga so I can say that I didn't completely flake out on '07s resolutions.


See you soon. Happy Holidays! Take care of yourselves and those you love.

xoxo,
J

Yesterday was my mother's birthday + excuses, excuses, excuses...

So happy birthday, Mommy.

I haven't intentionally neglected this blog. The problem is that I've sort of lost my desire to write. Words are all I have, so when they start to fail me, it's a sign that my head and heart are going through shit - shit that I should probably address, but that wouldn't be like me, would it? Eh. I'll bounce back, I always do. In my final evaluation for my RW1 class, my prof wrote: "[Josephine] demonstrated ... a remarkable dexterity with details. Similarly, in [an assigned] court story about a couple in a custody battle over a son with cerebral palsy, Josie showed a real command of the material and understood how to portray the emotion of the proceedings and not just the legal entanglements played out before the judge." So you'd think I'd be better off, but no.

Some quick updates -

I turned 23 last month.

Lanie came to visit.

Matt became a farmer. Not really, but I ♥ this picture.

Erin gave birth to a baby boy, Odinn.

Kaja and I hung out while we were waiting for his arrival. I fed her. A lot.

Tasha gave birth to Ameiha.

Who then tried to eat me.

That's all. Maybe I'll update again sometime before 2008.

A little shameless promo in the morning

You may have received emails/MySpace bulletins about Matt aka Young Damone being on Shade45 this morning, I didn't have time to put it up here. Don't fret...there's still time to bombard them with requests for him.

Let Cipha Sounds, Angela Yee and company know how much you looooove him by calling 1-888-Shade45 (742-3345) and emailing mailto:ciphasoundsfx@sirius-radio.com

Do it. Now. Now. Now. Repeatedly. For me? *insert sad face and eyes here* Thank you!
--------------------------

Also exciting, my first legitimate newspaper clip ever is out today.

Check it out: Mom-and-Pop Music Stores Slump in iPod Age - The New York Sun

It's today's lead business story. Very cool.

Remember me?

I used to write a bunch of shit that you really didn't care about, but were kind enough to read?

I'm back.

Lots of things have been going on...

....started grad school, discovered that Norfolk is pronounced "nah-fuck" by those in the know, had (and still having) an interesting experience with my (figurative) heart, got into the Sopranos now that it's over (I always do that), fell in love with Bay Ridge while covering it for school (despite my best attempts to hate it), learned that friends and business really don't mix...

...and probably a little more. I'll try to be around more often now.

xo,
J

P.S.

I got into Columbia for grad school. I'm getting a M.S. in Journalism with a Magazine concentration. Class of '09, but I start on May 18th. Not a bad look.

Weak update

I interviewed Belly for Arabisto. Check it out.

I'm also name-checked in an article in the Connecticut Post.

That's all for now.